I remember the exact moment I realised I'd been doing it wrong for years.

It was a quarterly business review at a company I won't name — though I will say it rhymed with "Microsoft" — and I was sitting at the far end of a large boardroom table. The kind of table that could comfortably seat the full cast of a Viking saga. I was doing what I always did: arms folded, phone face-down in my lap (progress, I thought), nodding along whilst mentally rewriting the agenda because it was, quite frankly, a masterpiece of corporate waffle.

I was delivering. My numbers were good. My projects were on time. I was, in my own estimation, killing it.

And yet, promotion after promotion floated past me like taxis in the rain. Taken by people I privately thought were less talented, less experienced, less — well, me.

It took an unusually blunt mentor — the kind you desperately need and quietly resent — to pull me aside and say something that stopped me in my tracks.

"Harvey, you're doing the work of a leader. But you look like someone waiting for the meeting to end."

Ouch.

I've spent decades unpacking the uncomfortable truth: your manager isn't only evaluating your output. They're evaluating your presence. And presence, it turns out, is not something you can include in a quarterly report.

Behavioural research tells us that humans form first impressions in as little as seven seconds. Leadership decisions — the informal, gut-level kind that determine who gets tapped for opportunities — often happen just as fast.

Your manager walks into a room. Within thirty seconds, before you've said a single word, they've already categorised you. Not consciously, not cruelly, but inevitably. Because that's what human brains do. They take shortcuts.

The question is: what shortcut are you triggering?

Are you signalling "future leader" or "just here for the biscuits"?

The nine behaviours below are the ones most likely sending the wrong message — and most professionals have no idea they're doing them.

1. The "Back Row" Choice

You arrive at a meeting and default to the edge seat, the corner, the chair furthest from the decision-makers. It feels humble. It feels polite. It feels like you're not being a nuisance.

What it actually signals: I'm not invested.

Sit in the middle. Proximity to leadership is proximity to visibility.

2. The "Arms Crossed" Defence

You're cold. You're thinking. You're just comfortable that way. Nobody cares. Crossed arms create a physical barrier that reads as defensiveness or disengagement — even when you're genuinely listening.

Open your posture. Lean slightly forward. Look like you're in the conversation, not watching it from the pavement.

3. The "Phone Check" Move

A quick glance. Just a second. Nobody noticed.

Everyone noticed.

That tiny movement communicates one thing with remarkable efficiency: Something else is more important than this room. Phone face-down, or better yet, out of sight entirely. Take notes on paper if you need to look occupied. Notes, incidentally, are their own powerful signal — more on that below.

4. The "Late to Video" Pattern

Joining a video call two minutes late might seem trivial. It isn't. It tells everyone waiting — including your manager — that your time management is aspirational rather than actual.

Join two minutes early. Use those two minutes to check your lighting, straighten your background, and not look like you've just sprinted from the kitchen.

5. The "Muted Energy" Response

You're present in body but absent in spirit. Flat tone, monosyllabic answers, the vocal equivalent of beige wallpaper. Leadership energy is contagious — and so is the absence of it.

Mirror the room's energy. Not in a sycophantic way. In a this matters to me way.

6. The "Email Delay" Signal

Here's one people rarely connect to body language — but it absolutely is a form of presence. Taking hours to respond to your manager's emails quietly signals misaligned priorities. Even a short "Got this, will come back to you by end of day" within thirty minutes tells a completely different story.

Responsiveness is a form of respect. Treat it accordingly.

7. The "Notebook Closed" Tell

Not taking notes tells the room — and the person speaking — that you don't expect to remember this, or that you don't think it's worth remembering. Neither is a good look.

Always write down key points. Even if you never read them back. The act of writing signals that you consider what's being said worth keeping.

8. The "Eye Contact" Miss

Avoiding eye contact reads as insecurity, discomfort, or disinterest — none of which are the trio you want associated with your personal brand. The research-backed sweet spot is three to five seconds of direct eye contact before naturally breaking away.

Practice it. It's strange at first. It becomes second nature quickly.

9. The "First to Leave" Rush

You start packing up your bag before the meeting is officially over. Maybe thirty seconds early. Maybe less. It doesn't matter. What people see is someone with somewhere better to be.

Wait for leadership to signal the close. Those last thirty seconds cost you nothing and buy you more than you'd think.

"But Harvey, These All Sound a Bit... Performative"

Fair challenge. And I'd have made it myself, once.

Here's the distinction that shifted things for me: there's a difference between performing engagement and demonstrating it. The nine behaviours above are not about pretending to care. They're about making sure your genuine care is actually visible.

Because here's the brutal irony of corporate life. You can do extraordinary work, think deeply, contribute meaningfully — and still be overlooked, if the signals you're sending contradict the reality of your effort.

Presence is performance. Small signals create big impressions. And every interaction — whether you like it or not — is being read.

High performers understand this. Not because they're calculating or inauthentic, but because they've accepted something that most people resist: perception is part of the job.

Here's how to apply all of this without overhauling your entire personality:

This week: Pick one meeting — just one — and audit your physical presence against the list above. Where are you sitting? Are your arms open? Is your phone away? One meeting. One honest look.

This month: Choose two or three behaviours from the nine that resonate most — the ones where you thought "guilty as charged" — and focus on those specifically. Change doesn't require perfection; it requires consistency applied to the right things.

This quarter: Ask a trusted colleague — ideally someone senior — for honest feedback on how you come across in meetings. Not what you contribute. How you appear. This is the conversation most people never have, and it's one of the most valuable you can.

Nobody is expecting flawless body language. Nobody is expecting you to become a TED Talk on two legs.

What they're looking for — what leadership is always quietly scanning for — is authentic engagement that shows up in the room. The kind that says: I'm here, I'm invested, and I give a damn.

Because that, more than any performance review score, is what gets people noticed.

Keep on rockin'!

Harvey