“Daddy, why is work calling at 7:47pm?” 📱

The phone rang at 7:47pm on a Wednesday.

I'd been working on a product launch for weeks, burning the midnight oil, and frankly, I was knackered. The voice on the other end was my manager, Paul.

"Harvey, I know it's late. Just wanted to check - do you need anything? Resources? Air cover? Someone to push back on those unrealistic timelines?"

I nearly dropped the phone.

In my twelve years at that company, across three different roles and fourteen different managers, this was the first time anyone had asked me that question. Not "Why isn't it done?" Not "Can you work this weekend?" Just... "What do you need?"

That moment changed everything for me. Not just that project, but my entire understanding of what leadership could be.

Paul was one of only two exceptional managers I worked under in my entire career. The other twelve? Let's just say they were more babysitters with better business cards than actual leaders.

The difference was staggering. And it's a difference that determines whether you stay in a job or leave it, whether you grow or stagnate, whether you look back on your career with pride or regret.

The Uncomfortable Truth About Management

Here's what nobody tells you when you're climbing the corporate ladder: most people get promoted into management for doing their job well, not for having any bloody clue how to lead people.

They hit their targets. They didn't cause HR headaches. They turned up on time and said the right things in meetings. So boom - suddenly they're responsible for developing human beings.

It's like promoting your best striker to football manager because they scored a lot of goals. Different skill. Different game entirely.

But when you encounter a keeper - a genuinely exceptional manager - you know it immediately. Not because they're perfect (they're not), but because they fundamentally understand that their job isn't about them anymore.

Let me break down the nine unmistakable signs that separate the exceptional from the merely adequate.

1. They Fight for Your Growth, Not Just Outcomes

Bad managers are obsessed with deliverables. Great ones are obsessed with your development.

I remember working under a manager - let's call her Janet - who cared deeply about one thing: hitting quarterly targets. If you delivered, she was happy. If you didn't, you got the cold shoulder and a terse email. But ask her about your career progression? Silence. Ask about that course you wanted to take? "We'll see about budget next quarter." (Spoiler: there was never budget.)

Then there was Paul. He'd spot potential in you that you didn't even see in yourself yet. He'd say things like, "I reckon you'd be brilliant at leading that cross-functional initiative. It'll stretch you, but I'll be there if you need me."

Great managers understand that their legacy isn't the projects they delivered - it's the people they developed.

2. They Take Blame Publicly, Give Credit Loudly

This one's rare. Genuinely rare.

When things go pear-shaped (and in any decent role, they will), most managers suddenly develop amnesia about their involvement. "Well, the team didn't execute properly," they'll say to their superiors, whilst you're sitting there thinking, "Hang on, you're the one who approved this harebrained approach!"

Exceptional managers do the opposite. They shield you when things go wrong. They say, "That's on me. I should have resourced it differently." Then, when you're behind closed doors, they'll have an honest conversation about what you could improve.

But when things go right? They're amplifying your name at every opportunity. In leadership meetings. In company emails. To anyone who'll listen.

This isn't just nice behaviour. It's emotional safety in action. And emotional safety is the foundation of high-performing teams.

3. They Ask "What Do You Need?" vs "Why Isn't It Done?"

Context before criticism. Every single time.

I once had a manager storm over to my desk (yes, this was back when we had desks we actually sat at) and bark, "Why are the case studies not finished?"

No preamble. No context. Just accusation wrapped in a question mark.

Compare that to Paul's late-night phone call. He assumed I was working hard (I was) and that if something wasn't done, there must be a reason. So he asked what obstacles needed removing.

One approach makes you defensive and resentful. The other makes you feel supported and motivated to solve problems together.

Great managers remove obstacles instead of becoming one.

4. They Remember What You Told Them Last Month

"How did your daughter's recital go?"

"Did you finish that side project you were excited about?"

"I remember you mentioned wanting to move into product strategy - let's talk about that."

These aren't just pleasantries. They're proof that you matter as a human, not just a resource to be allocated.

I've had managers who couldn't remember my name half the time, let alone anything about my life. And I've had managers who'd follow up three weeks later on something I'd mentioned in passing.

Guess which ones I worked harder for?

When managers remember the details of your life, they're signalling something powerful: you're not interchangeable. You're not a cog. You're a person they actually care about.

5. They Say "I Don't Know" Without Ego

Vulnerability isn't weakness. It's trust-building.

The worst managers I've worked with had this compulsive need to have all the answers. Ask them a question they didn't know the answer to, and they'd waffle. They'd obfuscate. They'd give you a non-answer that sounded vaguely strategic but meant absolutely nothing.

The best managers? They'd just say, "I don't know. Let's figure it out together."

They model the humility they expect from their team. And when you see your manager admit they don't have all the answers, it gives you permission to do the same. It creates a culture where it's safe to not know, safe to ask, safe to learn.

6. They Defend Your Boundaries to Senior Leadership

This is the difference between a manager and a leader.

When executives push unreal deadlines, mediocre managers just pass the pressure down. "Sorry, everyone, we need to pull an all-nighter. Leadership wants this by Friday."

Exceptional managers push back. They say, "That timeline isn't realistic without compromising quality. We can do X by Friday or Y by next Wednesday. Which would you prefer?"

Your burnout is not their promotion strategy. And if they're willing to risk their standing to protect your wellbeing, that's loyalty worth respecting.

7. They Give Feedback Like a Gift, Not a Weapon

"There's room for improvement."

Thanks for that utterly useless piece of feedback, Janet.

Great managers give specific, timely, actionable feedback. They say things like:

"In yesterday's presentation, when you addressed the pricing question, I noticed you got a bit defensive. Next time, try acknowledging their concern first before explaining the rationale. It'll make them more receptive."

See the difference? You leave that conversation knowing exactly what to do differently. You feel better equipped, not smaller.

Feedback should make you better, not make you feel rubbish.

8. They Create Opportunities, Not Just Assign Tasks

Your one-to-ones should be career acceleration sessions, not status updates.

I've sat through countless one-to-ones where my manager would just run through my task list. "How's project A? What's the status on project B? When will C be done?"

Mate, you could've sent me a Slack message for that.

Exceptional managers use that time differently. They ask, "What do you want to be doing in two years? What skills do you want to develop? How can I help you get there?"

They see the meeting as an investment in your trajectory, not just a chance to tick off their management responsibilities.

9. They Celebrate Your Exit When It's Time to Move On

This is the ultimate test. And it's surprisingly uncommon.

Bad managers take your departure personally. They guilt you. They make it weird. They suddenly can't write that reference letter they promised.

Great managers know their job is to grow you out of their team. When you tell them you're moving on to something bigger, they're genuinely chuffed for you. They write enthusiastic recommendations. They offer to be a reference. They stay in touch.

Paul did this for me. When I told him I was leaving for a role at a competitor (awkward), he said, "That's brilliant, Harvey. They're lucky to have you. And I'm lucky I got to work with you whilst I did."

That's class. That's leadership.

What This All Means

If you've read this far and you're thinking, "Christ, my manager doesn't do any of these things," you have three options:

1. Have an honest conversation with them about what you need

2. Look for opportunities to work for someone who does these things

3. If you're the manager, start doing these things yourself

Because here's the truth that ties it all together: keeper managers see leadership as service, not status.

They build people, not just portfolios. They measure success by how many people they've helped grow, not how impressive their own LinkedIn profile looks.

What You Should Do Next

If you have a manager like this, don't take them for granted. Tell them what they mean to you. Not in a weird, over-the-top way, but genuinely. They probably don't hear it enough.

If you are this kind of manager, know that you're changing lives more than you realise. The impact you're having won't show up in quarterly reports, but it'll ripple through careers for decades.

If you're neither - if you're working for someone who's just going through the motions - start thinking strategically about your next move. Life's too short and your career's too important to spend it with someone who treats you like a resource rather than a human being.

And if you're aspiring to management yourself, bookmark this. Print it out. Stick it on your wall. Because the difference between being someone's boss and being someone's career-changing leader comes down to these nine principles.

Keep on rockin'!

Harvey